Knowing God's Will

        
     One of the most common questions I get asked when I'm talking about our Framingham story is how do I know this is God's will for our family. Usually, I just say "It's a feeling", and then when they give me a blank stare, I say something to the effect of "I don't know how to explain it, I just know". But the more I tell our story, the more I realize that my responses are not adequate. My responses are a cop-out and do not show how faithful my God is to our family. So I have set out to come up with a better answer to that question. 

       In the Bible there are several stories that detail how God spoke to his people.  To name a few examples... 

• Numbers 22:1-35 - God speaks to Balaam through his donkey

• Exodus 3:1-4 - God speaks to Moses through a burning bush

• Luke 1 - God speaks through an angel to Zachariah, Elizabeth, Mary, Joseph and the shepherds  

• In Genesis, God spoke directly to Adam and Eve

     I could go on and on, but you get the idea. In the Bible we are shown how God spoke directly to his people. It's easy to know (not always to follow) God's command and live within His will when we hear directly from Him. It's a totally different story when we are trying to decipher what God wants for us in today's world. Today, we don't get talking donkeys or burning bushes. I've never had an angel come talk to me. Although, if these things were to happen to me, I'm pretty sure I'd head straight to the ER to get evaluated. But, GOD DOES SPEAK TO US!  We just have to know where to listen.

     There are so many distractions that can hinder our ability to be still and listen.  I am often struggling to know if my concept of the will of God is actually just one of my selfish desires.  We are a sinful and egotistical people and we want whatever we think is best for us. It's tempting to justify our personal wants as God's will. Is it really God's will that I eat this third donut? It's a silly example, I know, but this is how most of us think when we hear the term "God's will".  

     There are times when I know God has spoken to me through various methods. A couple years ago, I woke up after having a dream about being a wild goat on the side of a mountain... Weird right? I had no clue what to think. It wasn't until I told Tommy about my dream that he referenced Psalm 104:18 "The high mountains are for the goats, the rocks are a refuge for small beasts." Now, I don't remember what was happening in my life at the time or if this verse helped ease some internal anxiety, but I know that now I remember that dream when I am faced with something that scares me. God is so good to his creation that He designed a goat to be able to seek refuge and escape the enemy on the side of a mountain, a place where the enemy cannot go! If He provides protection to a lowly goat, doesn't He also provide protection for His people? I believe that God used that dream to equip me with the knowledge that He offers protection for ALL of His creation including me.

     Most recently, music seems to be God's method of choice when wanting to break through my busyness and noise. Last week, Tommy and I were having breakfast and discussing how the need to make a home in Framingham makes me nervous since we will be starting from scratch. No family, only a few friends, no HEB or Whataburger even! Then, as if I went deaf, all the noise seemed to stop and I hear the words "Just know you're not alone, I'm gonna make this place your home"! Through all the background noise of a busy restaurant, God needed me to hear those lyrics. I immediately stopped what I was doing and looked up the song. I've heard this song many times but I don't think I ever listened to the lyrics.  

Hold on, to me as you go // As you roll down this unfamiliar road // And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you’re not alone // 'Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear // Don't pay no mind to the demons // They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down // If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone // 'Cause I’m going to make this place your home     

     God took this secular song and showed me that He knows what is going on in my heart, and that He's preparing a place for me in Framingham that will be my HOME. Not just the house we live in, but the HOME that we can love. CHILLS!!! 

     OK, I know this post is long but I want to give you one more example of a song that might encourage you to be receptive to the ways in which God communicates with you! Before you read the lyrics and see why this song is a song from God, I want you to remember a couple of things. We made the decision to move to Framingham on June 25th and this song was released on August 4th. Banner Hill Church's "slogan" is All In! Part of our journey is that Tommy and I were challenged to no longer live a lukewarm Christian life. I believe that this song was created by God through Matthew West for Banner Hill and those who have bought into the mission of being All In!

My feet are frozen on this middle ground // The water's warm here but the fire's gone out

I played it safe for so long the passion left // Turns out safe is just another word for regret

So, I step to the edge and I take a deep breath // We're all dying to live but we're all scared to death // And this is the part where my head tells my heart // You should turn back around but there's no turning back now

I'm going ALL IN // Headfirst into the deep end // I hear You calling // And this time the fear won't win // I'm going, I'm going ALL IN

     God certainly knows how to reach my heart.  He absolutely knows how to reach YOUR heart too.  You just have to be willing (and brave enough) to listen.  You (probably) aren't going to get a burning bush or an angel, but when God has something to say to you, He will find a way to speak to you!

I don't know how to make friends...

9th Grade

       I have been friends with the same group of girls for over half my life.  I met most of them when I was in 7th grade while we were all awkwardly trying (and failing) to find out who we were.  We went through puberty together. We went through first kisses and first loves together.  We comforted each other's broken hearts and celebrated the milestones.  These women were some of the first to hold my babies.  They stayed by my side when young motherhood threatened my sanity.  My husband is friends with their husbands; my kids are friends with their kids.  I know that this kind of friendship is rare and I an eternally grateful for these women and their presence in my life.  It's strange to me to think that I could be a completely different person had I not make these vital connections all those years ago.

12th Grade

   
        During our trip to New England last fall, I was talking to a women about our new calling while visiting Banner Hill Church.  She asked me what I was most afraid of regarding our move.  While I have a list of things that cause me mild trepidation, having to make new friends is at the top of the list.  I quickly realized that I don't know how to make friends.  I haven't had to do it in about 20 years.  I'm not talking about acquaintances or those people you know from work.  I'm talking about the friends that know EVERYTHING about you.  The friends that don't feel the need to entertain me when I'm at their house.  The kind of friends who come with a sense of comfort that can only be found in those you have known through the ups and downs of life.  Finding this kind of friendship requires a level of transparency and vulnerability that do not come easily for me... or any woman that I know.

2007

     After talking with this woman for a little while, she stopped me and recommended a book called Messy Beautiful Friendship by Christine Hoover.  That night I downloaded the book to my kindle and immediately felt that Christine was inside my head and knew exactly how I felt.  Christine Hoover is the wife of a pastor who also moved their family across the country to plant a church.  While I am not a pastor's wife, the struggles that Christine went through gave me an insider view of my future.  She explained that when we are children, friendship comes easily mostly because we were forced to spend time with the same people day after day, month after month and year after year.  We were in school together, we were in the same after school activities and had the same first jobs.  We didn't have to work as hard to make friendships as we do as adults, they just came naturally.

2011

       As adults, we are busy.  We are wives, moms, co-workers, volunteers and home makers.  When the day is done, it takes everything in us to do the dishes after dinner and the kids in bed before we crash into our beds (or binge in front of Netflix with the hubby).  Then we have to wake up and do it all over again.  No one has any energy to put in the effort that is required to cultivate friendship.  Adult friendships are HARD.  They take work.  Sometimes we expect our friendships to be as effortless as they were when our moms drove us to play dates on weekends.  The problem with this is that many women go through adulthood with little to no true friends.   We are lonely and living an isolated.  This not what God had in mind for us when he created us.  In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it says, "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble".  God designed us to live in communities of like minded people who can help us succeed in life.  God knows that the devil like to strike when we are alone with no one to rally behind us on the spiritual battlefield.  
      

2014

         Moving to Framingham, away from all my current friendships, will definitely cause some personal growth.  I have prepared myself for some lonely days and possibly some tears during this transition.  I have also prepared myself to WORK on making new friendships.  I will open my front door and invite my neighbors into my kitchen and introduce them to Texas BBQ even when there are dishes in the sink and laundry on the couch.  I will make dinner for a couple for church and not worry that my cooking isn't good enough.  I will invite people into my messiness of my life.  I've come to realize that while my friendships in Framingham will be different and will take time and effort to develop, they certainly won't be less important or less life changing.  I believe that God has already prepared the friendships that I will need once we arrive in Framingham. 

   

Vacation turned Vision Trip

 In March of 2017, Tommy and I decided to do a kid-free getaway in the Fall… we considered lots of places: Branson, California, even Mexico. Finally settled on a nice resort in New Hampshire largely because Southwest Airlines had insanely good rates in & out of nearby Boston for the dates of the proposed vacation. Needless to say, we were very excited for our upcoming trip... not knowing that God was going to throw us a curve ball.


A few months later, in June, we were sitting in a Vision meeting hearing about the overwhelming spiritual need in MetroWest Boston. Our friends Bryan and Jodi Shippey had been called to plant a church in Framingham, MA. We went to this Vision meeting as a show of support and to possibly offer a financial contribution to their ministry. Again, God had something else entirely in mind. At the end of the meeting, Tommy turned to me and I knew that he had the same thoughts that I did. We needed to move to Framingham and help Bryan and Jodi plant their church. It wasn't until later that night that it hit us... Our so-called vacation was taking us within miles of Framingham. Ok God, you can stop showing off now.

We decided to continue our vacation as originally planned, except now, we were in Vision mode. In addition to hiking, shopping, sleeping in, eating wonderful food, and enjoying the exquisite scenery, we spent time with Bryan and Jodi. We talked about where we fit into the framework of Banner Hill Church. (On another note, Banner Hill Church has already outgrown their first facility! The need is THAT great!) We took a day to drive around the town and prayed for the people of Framingham. Then exactly 16 weeks after we had attended that Vision meeting about Banner Hill, Tommy and I were sitting IN a meeting of Banner Hill Church of Framingham as part of this “vacation” that God had orchestrated long before we understood it’s greater purpose.


God is good in so many ways. He knew that Tommy and I would need time away from our normal daily activities in order to gain clarity as to what exactly He had planned for us! He loves us enough to allow us to "plan" this vacation to cultivate our marriage, but also uses our plans to help us get a greater understanding of the spiritual need in Framingham.

How this Crazy (Love) idea began...

Shortly after making the decision to move to Framingham, Tommy and I both started to remember things from the past that, at the time, seemed insignificant but in light of our newest calling, proved to be God's way of preparing our hearts to be used for His purpose.

Two years ago, Tommy and I, along with our small group, began a new Bible study based on the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Word of caution here: If you are not ready for God to radically turn your world upside down, then steer clear of this book... or really ANY of Francis Chan's books. BUT, if you are looking for something more, if your Christian life isn't what you pictured, or if you feel like you are missing something, I recommend that you read this book!

Crazy Love takes the reader through a roller coaster of emotion as you are faced with some tough questions.  Questions like "Has your life changed since becoming a follower of Christ?" or "God gave His all to you, are you giving your all to Him?"  These are the questions that Tommy and I would get stuck on while working on the homework.  Before if we were directly asked about the health of our spiritual life, I truly believe that we thought we were red hot in our relationship with Christ, but it was clear that, at best, we were living lukewarm Christian lives.   This study wrecked us right down to our core as individuals and as a couple.

After coming to this realization, we knew that something had to change.  At the time, we were doing everything a "good" Christian family was supposed to do.   We went to church, we were in a small group, we prayed before meals and we served the church.  On the surface, we thought we were doing everything right.  So we needed to pray and we needed to get into His Word!  We needed to ask God what a red hot Christian life looks like for our family.  And that is what we did.  We prayed for God to make clear His purpose for our family.  We prayed for help as we lit our lives on fire for Christ. We prayed that we would be receptive to His plans for us!  We prayed and we waited!